Bae of the Week: Nicola Sturgeon

The date is June 24th 2016.

BoJo the clown has screwed us all with his lying megabus.

The Prime Minister has bowed out (dis)gracefully.

The Chancellor is out of the race for PM.

Jeremy Hunt is somehow in the race for PM(????)

Jeremy Corbyn is deflated.

Tim Farron is defiant.

And, worst of all, Nigel Farage is happy.

But wait, what is that I see? A glimmer on the horizon – the figure of a woman, standing on a partially dismantled wall, with hordes of men painted in blue woad roaring “Freedom!!” “Down with the south!!” “#Scotlond” at her feet? This totally happened guys.

It’s Nicola Sturgeon people: First Minister for Scotland, leader of the SNP who won a stonking victory in Scotland in the 2015 election, and owner of a great wardrobe of well-shoulder-padded power outfits. She fought valiantly in 2014 for Scotland to leave the UK. We poo-pooed her. Now she’s back again and, as Scotland has voted overwhelmingly to stay in the EU, and England is in a shambles, we can’t very well ignore her anymore.

Not that we could ignore her in the first place. Though the Scottish Referendum ended in failure, Sturgeon was a force to be reckoned with during the general election. Dubbed the ‘breakout star’ of the general election televised debates, the Daily Mail tried to tarnish her with the label “The Most Dangerous Woman in Britain.” This was probably because they realised that lots of non-Scots actually thought she had won it.

You know my girl made it onto the list of The world’s 100 most Powerful Women. She’s just a great force for politics – actually aiming to represent the people, working harder for equality, and speaking some much needed common sense. And she’s been working on it since she was a teenager.

Here are some non-EU-Referendum related gems from the lady herself:

  • On the Daily Mail’s slur:  “I loved that. It’s the nicest thing the Daily Mail has said about me. I still trade off it. It did my street cred no end of good. I owe the Daily Mail big time for that.”
  • On a comparison to Tony Blair “I’m not intending to illegally invade another country any time soon.” (burn.)
  • On taking selfies with supporters “It will be in the hundreds of thousands, I think. I know how every make of phone works. It really deeply troubles me when I come across a phone I don’t know how to work in selfie mode. At night, very, very often the sorest part of my body is my cheekbones.”
  • On migrants and the NHS “When someone is diagnosed with a deadly illness, my instinct is to view them as a human being, not consider what country they come from.”

Slay.

OK, so Scotland may not be able to remain a member of the EU on its own merit, or block Article 50. But goddamnit at least someone’s trying.

Please Nicola, save Scotland from Brexit. And take London with you.

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